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ullehaddock

Writer of sorts with a soft spot for Photo. Writes about life and what comes into my mind.
The Reunion

The Reunion

She had moved away and gotten married in southern France. Now he was on his way back from that long last reunion. It had been as perfect as he dreamt of all those years.

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She was so beautiful as he remembered. Even if the years had put some fine lines around her eyes. But her smile. Her smile hit him like a hammer in the gut as she stood there at the train station in Marseille. He always thought that her smile could melt a solid rock. He was thrown back to a high school kid and his legs could not move. She waved. Still smiling but now with eyebrows frowned. Questioning why he stopped.

As the platform was almost emptied with people his legs finally started to function again. They met in a warm long embrace. He felt his whole body melt into her arms. He could not hold back his tears. They were tears of longing and time lost. She broke loose from his embrace and held his face in her hands. Those soft warm hands. With the thumbs she dried his tears of and gave him a kiss. He was unprepared so it was short. They looked at each other. Still with her hands around his face before they joined in a long kiss. A twenty year of waiting kiss. He could see it from the outside like in a movie. You know when the camera circles around and the song She with Charles Aznavour playing.

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With a warm feeling inside he told this to the two young backpackers he was sharing train compartment with. He did not have to tell them this. They had only started some small talk as they realized they were from the same country. As the train pulled out of Paris Gare Du Nord he continued his story. The two youngsters listened with big ears and interested eyes. He decided to leave out the first night they had together as they arrived to her small Vineyard outside Marseille.

When he heard that her husband left her he had struggled with himself to dare that first letter to his youth love. The love of his life. Finally the longing got the better of him and he wrote. His own marriage was already over as there was no love. He wrote with the pieces of his shattered heart. The heart that broke when she did not returned after a year as au pair. He waited in turmoil for the reply. Lost several kilos as he could not eat or sleep. After a week he got her reply that he opened with trembling hands and sweat dripping from his forehead. He had to start over several times to finish as his eyes was blurred by tears of yearning.

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He called in sick to work. Booked a train ticket and sent her a letter explaining when he would arrive. He was that confident that the feelings were still there. Confident that if they met the spark would burst into flames. Now he sat here telling his story to the two boys. Going back to finish of his entire life and move to the south of France. Move to her. She who shattered his heart now so gently mended it piece by piece.

Please leave a comment of what you think of this story. Like, subscribe and share. Check out more from me here.

The Walker

The Walker

He came walking with small steps supported by a old peoples walker. It was a cold damp morning in December with temperatures just above freezing point. He walked towards us as we stood in the small shelter waiting for the tram to arrive. He was dressed in hospital clothes. Those thin trousers and loose hanging shirt covered only by a thin jacket. He did not appear to be bothered by the cold as he entered the shelter to check the board for arrival time of the next tram.

Tram (Picture by Ulle Haddock 2020)

As it was early in the morning there was a few minutes more wait than during the day. He leaned against the walker and breathed fast from the walk. We just stood there in silence waiting for the tram. As the tram approached he asked if we could help him aboard. He explained that these older type of trams was difficult to board due to the gap and the walkers wheels sometimes got stuck. We offered without hesitation to assist him. He looked at us with a big smile of relief.

We got on the tram and helped him get seated. I think he saw the question in our eyes so he offered an explanation. He was on leave from the hospital where he recovered from a small surgery to meet up with a lady friend in the city center. He emphasized that it was a lady friend. They plan to have coffee and then go for lunch before he went back. There was a sparkle in his eyes when he spoke about his lady friend. I guess there were deeper feelings involved.

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As we approached the city center he asked for help again. This time to get of and change to another tram line as this one would not get him to his final destination. How can you refuse? We even waited to help him to enter the next tram. Luckily so because the driver tried to close the doors on him several times before a lady in the front shouted at him to calm down and let the man get on the tram.

We watched him as the tram drove off. Last thing I could see was that he was struggling to be seated and I hoped that someone else could help him. We crossed the tracks to our next tram taking us to our final destination. So the life went on but I sometimes think of this man. Was he on the run from the hospital? Should I try to call somebody? How has his life been? Did he have any children? Why was he out from the hospital alone?

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These questions remain as hidden gems for a wannabe writer like me so I will cherish them and be thankful that I could be of any assistance, right or wrong. If you are bored with commuting, try to look at the people around you. They are stories that only they know and if you do not feel like talking. Just make the stories up, nobody will know. As always please comment, like, share and subscribe. You can also me out on social media or check my other posts. Both pictures in this post are made by me. First attempt to draw on the touch screen.

Mother Natures Plea

Mother Natures Plea

Global warming and other alarming reports about Homo Sapiens abuse of Mother Nature hits us every day. Somebody needs to do something about it soon! We turn to our political leaders and blame the industry for the crisis. But what about us. You and Me?

Politicians, they are idiots only in it to get rich themselves, right. True in far to many cases but in most cases they are in it to make a difference for something they believe in. Ever so good they cannot do it without a mandate. This is even written in the Swedish constitution; “All political power stems from the people”. Many democratic countries has something similar. So if we want politicians to be able to change anything we need to give them that mandate. But this also means we have to take the good with the bad. Simply due to the fact that nobody thinks exactly the same way as you in everything. Unless you are married then your wife tells you what to think!

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Okay but the industry and the large companies still are the biggest culprits. Polluting from their big factories and hoards of lawyers bending the rules. They also try to hold the politicians hostage saying that jobs will be lost if they make the wrong decisions. Guess what! We have the power also here! We are consumers. The first rule of business is that you have to fill a market need. That can, and is, done by aggressive marketing but in the end it is Our choice to spend our hard earned money on that particular product. Yes, I know there are many if’s and but’s here depending in how much you earn and what is available in the market. The moral obligation falls harder on those who earns the most.

Twisting and turning

For example buying a car. The first question you should ask is, “Do I really need one”? If you live and work in the city will public transport or a bicycle do the job? Second question is, “For what transportation tasks do I need the car”? Commuting and driving my kids to school and activities or moving very large rocks? Hand to your hearts. Do these questions really occupy your mind or are we more interested in having something bigger and better than the neighbor? Why else are the cities filled with large SUV’s. Putting low profile tires on really takes the argument of driving to the summer house in the mountains once a year out of the debate.

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So we make many decisions every day and we need to vote for mother nature as often as we can. Short term and long term. I know it is sometimes hard to know what is the best choice but we need to seek out facts and question our choices. The storms, flooding’s, migration, and forest fires will effect You sooner then you think. Taking a quote from the Blues Brothers. We need you, you, you. You, you, you! Act before it is to late. Somebody is us!

Like (even if you disagree), share, subscribe and comment. Check out more posts from me here.

Aftermath

Aftermath

It is now a month since my son died. Leaving a huge void in my heart and I miss him beyond words. I am trying to find a way to live on and keeping his memory alive. He was my best friend. Gifted with abilities to write music, both classical and punk rock. Highly intelligent he could code and did his own compiler when he was 16. We enjoyed nature as I have written in my previous posts. All this is stored in my heart to bring laughter among the tears.

Writing down words on a piece of paper or on a computer screen has been a good way of dealing with things in life. For the last month, even this has been difficult. I have “only” been able to write some poetry. I have started to write this text many times but had stop when the energy ran out.

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When someone in your family dies you are not only left with grief and loss. There are also many practical things that needs to be done. Arranging a funeral or ceremony, close of accounts on the internet, cancel contracts and the list goes on. And even if this is hard, I feel that this helps dealing with the loss.

One of the hardest things was to clean out the student apartment. He had a very nice apartment at the Campus that is very hard to get. Every item carries a memory more or less and you need to decide to keep or get rid of. If you keep it. Where to store it?

The hardest part is to close everything of on the internet. My son had just started up a website to sell his music to games and films. The first thing I had to do is to try and stop all ongoing add campaigns. I think I managed to do that but then it got harder. For the accounts I had the logon credentials I managed most. You be surprised how many sites that does not offer an account cancel button. Next option is to try e-mail the companies, but you get stuck with a chatbot that cannot compute the fact the somebody died.

Arranging the funeral was easy as we got help from a funeral director. The church has played a big part in my son life as he played the church organ. Whatever your faith they are very supportive and helpful. My son’s own music was played in the speakers and ended with a recording of the Star Wars theme that he played on that organ at age 15. It was even easy to choose the headstone as my father-in-law found a stone shaped as a heart.

The Headstone

I hope you did not find this post too depressing, if so check out my other post for something more uplifting. We tend to be uncomfortable around death and grief but there is only one thing in life that is certain. We die. Fortunately we do not know when or how.

Stranded

Stranded

Like an island in the stream, caught in a maelstrom.
Life streams on, flows past you.
Stuck in vortex on an island of rose bushes.
Tearing thorns from loss, beautiful flowers of memories.
Stream of life passes by, calling you out again.
How can I leave this island of roses?
How can I leave this comfort of pain?
Waiting for the flood to wash me of.
Should I make a raft of rose bushes?
A raft to float down the stream of life.
A raft of loss and memories.

Writing is a way to deal with things in life. After loosing my son some weeks ago I have struggled to find the strength to write again. Writing this helps me deal with the sorrow and if it can help anyone else I will be glad. Please share, like, comment and subscribe. Also check out my other posts.

Vienna

Vienna

Travel has been restricted this year so I will share some old travel memories instead. I think many of you has a favorite city to travel to. I have several but if I must choose one it will be Vienna or Wien in German. Capital of Austria in the middle of Europe. If you are interested in history, architecture or classical music this is the place to go. With many restaurants and cafes it is the perfect weekend holiday for those who just like to take walks, do some shopping, sit in a cafe or have a nice dinner.

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Transport

When I go to a larger city I like to travel by public transport. Vienna probably has the best in the world. Even if you stay in a hotel in the suburbs it is easy to go in to the city center with S-Bahn (Commuter trains). In the city you can go with the excellent U-Bahn (Subway), bus or Strassenbahn (Tram). The tram network is the largest in the world. Once in the city center it is mostly walking distance. Always make sure you have good shoes in the city.

Culture

Just walking around in the city with many historical buildings and parks is enough pleasure if you are on a tight budget. As the city has been the center for one of the larges kingdoms in central Europe there are may castles to visit. One you must not miss is Schönbrunn that you easily reach by U-Bahn. The castle has 1600 rooms and a garden worth visiting by its own right.

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Mozart, Beethoven and Strauss are composers connected to Vienna. Or way not Ultravox with the song Vienna. There are may possibilities to hear music or opera in the city. It is always a good idea to book in advance but not needed as tickets are sold all over the city. The many churches have also organ concerts and if you are lucky someone might sit and practice while you visit. Yes the churches are worth a visit and the grandest of them all is the Stephansdom.

If the family has different interests it is not a problem. In the city center you will find shopping streets, cafes and restaurants for those not in to museums and churches. A visit to a cafe is a must if you have a sweet tooth like me. The pastries you can get! A pick nick in a park a warm day is also highly recommended. I could go on and on but I suggest you go there yourselves when this pandemic is over.

I have visited the city twice. The first time I was young and on my first Eurail ticket. We stayed in a simple pension just outside the city center. We had planned to stay for two days but liked it so much we stayed almost a full week. Second time was twenty five years later with my family. As my son plays grand piano, church organ and classic guitar this was quite an experience for him. He composes his own music that you can find here.

Next city on the list is close call between Berlin or London so I will see if I can decide. Until then do not forget to like, subscribe, share and comment. Also check out other posts from me.

Blues Brothers

Blues Brothers

Yesterday I sat down with my oldest son to watch a movie. He wanted to see the old classic, no cult movie, the Blues Brothers! This has always been one of my absolute favorites. It was released in 1980 so it is quite an old roll of film. I have seen it well over twenty times so I know it by heart, even if it has been some years since last time. I am really pleased that I have managed to transfer culture to my children!

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So if you have yet to see it, available on Netflix, it is the story of Jake and Elwood Blues. The story is quite thin but it is really a song and dance film giving tribute to the Blues of the 60- and 70-ties. The legends parades through the film, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, John Lee Hooker to mention a few. The two losers are on a mission from God to save the Catholic orphanage where they grew up. To do this they need to raise $5000 to pay the property tax to Cook County. Scene is set to Chicago as a tribute to the city.

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The story is quite thin but it is really about the music and the comedy. So if you like old soul, R&B and blues this film is a must. The car chases and the number of wrecked police cars are just incredible. One of the car chases takes place in a shopping mall! Being a comedy they stretch out the stereo types to the max. It is a big smile and a lot of laughs. Some of the song and dance numbers makes me think about Bollywood movies. What do you think?

Blues Mobile 2020

I wonder if would be possible with a remake? John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd plays the brothers but who would it be now? Then most of the blues legends are gone so would it be modern R&B and Hip Hop artists? Instead of Blues, Heavy Metal with Marvel characters? No best leave it alone. A Blues Brothers 2000 came in 1998 and was a big flop.

This movie is best to just enjoy and not to overthink or analyse. Even if Aretha Franklin sings “You better think! Think about what you do to me!” Well, makes me happy! Let me know your thoughts, comment, like, share and subscribe! Until next time I will take a tour in the Blues mobile!

Ängholmen

Ängholmen

So the last days of my holiday and the weather is warm and calm winds. We tried a new spot and landed on the small island Ängholmen. Like many of the small island without people the forest has been untouched for almost a hundred years. I share some pictures of this beautiful spot in the world.

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The history of this island links well back to present day and the Covid-19 pandemic. During 1800 this island was a cemetery for cholera victims. Cholera hit hard in periods during almost forty years. As an attempt to protect spreading victims were buried away from communities.

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I hope you like these photos. If you do, you know the drill, Like, Subscribe, share and Comment. Also check out my other posts and my social media.

Förändringar

Förändringar

This is the Swedish translation of Changes. Detta är den svenska versionen av Changes.

Idag ägnade jag lite tid för att hitta lite bakgrundsfakta till en novell jag skriver på. En historisk berättelse som utspelar sig i området jag lever i, Sannäsfjorden. Jag har berört detta i några av mina tidigare bloggar så kolla gärna dem. Området häromkring är rikt på historia så det finns mycket att ösa ur.

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Innan du slutar läsa! Jag kommer inte bombardera dig med kungar och årtal. I skolan var detta det värsta med historielektionerna. Alla kungar och årtal du skulle komma ihåg, djup suck! Nej, det är bra mycket intressantare att förstå hur vanligt folk hade det. När jag går runt i området finns många spår. Husgrunder, stenbroar och stengärdesgårdar. Jag tänker på de män och kvinnor som levde här. Var livet alltid hårt eller var de lyckliga?

Efter att den senaste istiden tog slut för ungefär 10000 år sedan reste sig landet sakta ur havet när trycket från isen försvann. Till det uppstigande landet kom folk i båtar och blev kvar eftersom fisket var bra här. De många Hällristningarna i Tanumshede vittnar om att folk bott här under lång tid.

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Det som slår mig är att det genom seklerna varit många förändringar. Perioder med rikedom och perioder med fattigdom. För vanligt folk har livet vanligen varit hårt. Sedan vikingatiden har det varit perioder där fisket varit väldigt lätt. Dessa perioder kallas sillperioder. Sillen gick till i enorma mängder under tjugo till trettio år för att plötsligt försvinna under åttio till hundra år. Under de goda åren var inflyttningen stor och de små samhällena växte fort.

När sillperioderna tog slut var folket tvingade att hitta andra sätt att försörja sig och sina familjer på. Många flyttade inåt landet och bröt ny jordbruksmark eller försökte fiska andra sorters fisk. Sillen fångades i stora nät liknande trålar som kallades Vad (jag kan inte hitta en engelsk översättning, skriv gärna en kommentar om ni har en). Fiskarna gjorde detta i små roddbåtar. Från dessa vader östes fisken upp i båtar eller ibland direkt upp på stranden. Fisken saltades eller kokades till fiskolja som kallas Tran. (Också här kämpade jag med engelsk översättning).

Under den sista sillperioden mot slutet av 1800 talet började det bli efterfrågan på den speciella rödaktiga granitstenen från området. I hela Bohuslän finns lämningar från stenindustrin och stenbrotten. Många stora städer ute i världen har denna sten i byggnader och gatsten. Sten av lite sämre kvalitet användes vid väg- och kanalbyggen. Det lilla samhället Sannäs var som störst runt 1900 med cirka 350 själar, som kyrkböckerna uttrycker det.

Idag bor det endast 57 personer året runt men under några sommarveckor är de nästan 300. Många av husen som byggdes under expansionen under 1800 talet står kvar men är idag sommarhus. Av de många stenindustrierna återstår endast ett.

Det är livets kretslopp. Naturen söker efter de bästa möjligheterna för utveckling. Drar sedan vidare när förutsättningarna ändras. Som i historien kämpar människor för att finna en utkomst men med modern kommunikation har det blivit enklare. Många pendlar till större städer både i Sverige och Norge. Allt eftersom infrastrukturen för IT blir bättre ökar möjligheterna att arbeta på distans. Under denna pandemin har det blivit ljus i många sommarhus igen.

Som källor för denna text har jag använt boken “Sannäs – Ett Bohuslänskt Kustsamhälle” och mina kära svärföräldrar samt Wikipedia.

Gilla, prenumerera, dela och kommentera (ställ frågor). Läs mer från mig här.