Archive for ‘Life’

Bite

Bite

The dog barked aggressively. Showing her teeth and growled deep down in the throat. But this boy showed no fear. Smiling at his friends with confidence. They had dared him to approach the baby carriage that the dog was protecting. After all it was his baby brother in the carriage. His three year younger and five months old brother.

Their mother used to put his brother on the courtyard and leave the dog to watch him. The dog would bark when the boy made noise in the baby carriage. His mother came down from the second floor in the apartment building to feed the baby or change diaper. No one else were allowed near the baby. The bitch was really a hunting dog and not a family pet. For some reason she had taken the newborn under her protection. She barely allowed her master to pick the boy up. The master that she would obey blindly when they were out hunting.

Today everything would change as the older brother continued to approach the baby carriage. When he reached over to pick the baby up she attacked. She attacked with her strongest and sharpest tool. Her teeth. The bite tore a large part of the cheek of and the boy screamed in pain and terror. The boys mother that just came down to see what was going on froze for a few seconds to the scene.

Her oldest boy bathing in blood. The baby on the ground, also covered in blood. The dog growling and barking with blood dripping from her teeth. Not knowing where she got the courage from she gave the dog a hard punch on the nose and picked up her oldest son. A large skin flap was hanging from the cheek and she placed it back the best she could and tried to stop the blood with her kitchen towel.

Now the neighbors started to come to aid but the dog had now recovered from the surprise from the punch. She was now standing over the baby with bloody teeth and a dark dark growling. An ambulance was called for the boy and police to take care of the dog. The two policemen was not able to get hold of the dog until the boys father came home from work. He managed to contain the raging dog and the boys grandmother could finally pick up the baby from the ground.

This is based on a true story taking place in Göteborg, Sweden in the mid sixties. The doctors managed to save the older brothers cheek with only minor scars. The dog had to be put to death as it could not be trusted anymore. Please like, subscribe, share and comment. Check out more from me here.

2020-09-28 3 9

The Reunion

The Reunion

She had moved away and gotten married in southern France. Now he was on his way back from that long last reunion. It had been as perfect as he dreamt of all those years.

She was so beautiful as he remembered. Even if the years had put some fine lines around her eyes. But her smile. Her smile hit him like a hammer in the gut as she stood there at the train station in Marseille. He always thought that her smile could melt a solid rock. He was thrown back to a high school kid and his legs could not move. She waved. Still smiling but now with eyebrows frowned. Questioning why he stopped.

As the platform was almost emptied with people his legs finally started to function again. They met in a warm long embrace. He felt his whole body melt into her arms. He could not hold back his tears. They were tears of longing and time lost. She broke loose from his embrace and held his face in her hands. Those soft warm hands. With the thumbs she dried his tears of and gave him a kiss. He was unprepared so it was short. They looked at each other. Still with her hands around his face before they joined in a long kiss. A twenty year of waiting kiss. He could see it from the outside like in a movie. You know when the camera circles around and the song She with Charles Aznavour playing.

With a warm feeling inside he told this to the two young backpackers he was sharing train compartment with. He did not have to tell them this. They had only started some small talk as they realized they were from the same country. As the train pulled out of Paris Gare Du Nord he continued his story. The two youngsters listened with big ears and interested eyes. He decided to leave out the first night they had together as they arrived to her small Vineyard outside Marseille.

When he heard that her husband left her he had struggled with himself to dare that first letter to his youth love. The love of his life. Finally the longing got the better of him and he wrote. His own marriage was already over as there was no love. He wrote with the pieces of his shattered heart. The heart that broke when she did not returned after a year as au pair. He waited in turmoil for the reply. Lost several kilos as he could not eat or sleep. After a week he got her reply that he opened with trembling hands and sweat dripping from his forehead. He had to start over several times to finish as his eyes was blurred by tears of yearning.

He called in sick to work. Booked a train ticket and sent her a letter explaining when he would arrive. He was that confident that the feelings were still there. Confident that if they met the spark would burst into flames. Now he sat here telling his story to the two boys. Going back to finish of his entire life and move to the south of France. Move to her. She who shattered his heart now so gently mended it piece by piece.

Please leave a comment of what you think of this story. Like, subscribe and share. Check out more from me here.

2020-09-26 0 14

The Walker

The Walker

He came walking with small steps supported by a old peoples walker. It was a cold damp morning in December with temperatures just above freezing point. He walked towards us as we stood in the small shelter waiting for the tram to arrive. He was dressed in hospital clothes. Those thin trousers and loose hanging shirt covered only by a thin jacket. He did not appear to be bothered by the cold as he entered the shelter to check the board for arrival time of the next tram.

Tram (Picture by Ulle Haddock 2020)

As it was early in the morning there was a few minutes more wait than during the day. He leaned against the walker and breathed fast from the walk. We just stood there in silence waiting for the tram. As the tram approached he asked if we could help him aboard. He explained that these older type of trams was difficult to board due to the gap and the walkers wheels sometimes got stuck. We offered without hesitation to assist him. He looked at us with a big smile of relief.

We got on the tram and helped him get seated. I think he saw the question in our eyes so he offered an explanation. He was on leave from the hospital where he recovered from a small surgery to meet up with a lady friend in the city center. He emphasized that it was a lady friend. They plan to have coffee and then go for lunch before he went back. There was a sparkle in his eyes when he spoke about his lady friend. I guess there were deeper feelings involved.

As we approached the city center he asked for help again. This time to get of and change to another tram line as this one would not get him to his final destination. How can you refuse? We even waited to help him to enter the next tram. Luckily so because the driver tried to close the doors on him several times before a lady in the front shouted at him to calm down and let the man get on the tram.

We watched him as the tram drove off. Last thing I could see was that he was struggling to be seated and I hoped that someone else could help him. We crossed the tracks to our next tram taking us to our final destination. So the life went on but I sometimes think of this man. Was he on the run from the hospital? Should I try to call somebody? How has his life been? Did he have any children? Why was he out from the hospital alone?

These questions remain as hidden gems for a wannabe writer like me so I will cherish them and be thankful that I could be of any assistance, right or wrong. If you are bored with commuting, try to look at the people around you. They are stories that only they know and if you do not feel like talking. Just make the stories up, nobody will know. As always please comment, like, share and subscribe. You can also me out on social media or check my other posts. Both pictures in this post are made by me. First attempt to draw on the touch screen.

2020-09-20 3 11

Mother Natures Plea

Mother Natures Plea

Global warming and other alarming reports about Homo Sapiens abuse of Mother Nature hits us every day. Somebody needs to do something about it soon! We turn to our political leaders and blame the industry for the crisis. But what about us. You and Me?

Politicians, they are idiots only in it to get rich themselves, right. True in far to many cases but in most cases they are in it to make a difference for something they believe in. Ever so good they cannot do it without a mandate. This is even written in the Swedish constitution; “All political power stems from the people”. Many democratic countries has something similar. So if we want politicians to be able to change anything we need to give them that mandate. But this also means we have to take the good with the bad. Simply due to the fact that nobody thinks exactly the same way as you in everything. Unless you are married then your wife tells you what to think!

Okay but the industry and the large companies still are the biggest culprits. Polluting from their big factories and hoards of lawyers bending the rules. They also try to hold the politicians hostage saying that jobs will be lost if they make the wrong decisions. Guess what! We have the power also here! We are consumers. The first rule of business is that you have to fill a market need. That can, and is, done by aggressive marketing but in the end it is Our choice to spend our hard earned money on that particular product. Yes, I know there are many if’s and but’s here depending in how much you earn and what is available in the market. The moral obligation falls harder on those who earns the most.

Twisting and turning

For example buying a car. The first question you should ask is, “Do I really need one”? If you live and work in the city will public transport or a bicycle do the job? Second question is, “For what transportation tasks do I need the car”? Commuting and driving my kids to school and activities or moving very large rocks? Hand to your hearts. Do these questions really occupy your mind or are we more interested in having something bigger and better than the neighbor? Why else are the cities filled with large SUV’s. Putting low profile tires on really takes the argument of driving to the summer house in the mountains once a year out of the debate.

So we make many decisions every day and we need to vote for mother nature as often as we can. Short term and long term. I know it is sometimes hard to know what is the best choice but we need to seek out facts and question our choices. The storms, flooding’s, migration, and forest fires will effect You sooner then you think. Taking a quote from the Blues Brothers. We need you, you, you. You, you, you! Act before it is to late. Somebody is us!

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2020-09-19 0 7

Aftermath

Aftermath

It is now a month since my son died. Leaving a huge void in my heart and I miss him beyond words. I am trying to find a way to live on and keeping his memory alive. He was my best friend. Gifted with abilities to write music, both classical and punk rock. Highly intelligent he could code and did his own compiler when he was 16. We enjoyed nature as I have written in my previous posts. All this is stored in my heart to bring laughter among the tears.

Writing down words on a piece of paper or on a computer screen has been a good way of dealing with things in life. For the last month, even this has been difficult. I have “only” been able to write some poetry. I have started to write this text many times but had stop when the energy ran out.

When someone in your family dies you are not only left with grief and loss. There are also many practical things that needs to be done. Arranging a funeral or ceremony, close of accounts on the internet, cancel contracts and the list goes on. And even if this is hard, I feel that this helps dealing with the loss.

One of the hardest things was to clean out the student apartment. He had a very nice apartment at the Campus that is very hard to get. Every item carries a memory more or less and you need to decide to keep or get rid of. If you keep it. Where to store it?

The hardest part is to close everything of on the internet. My son had just started up a website to sell his music to games and films. The first thing I had to do is to try and stop all ongoing add campaigns. I think I managed to do that but then it got harder. For the accounts I had the logon credentials I managed most. You be surprised how many sites that does not offer an account cancel button. Next option is to try e-mail the companies, but you get stuck with a chatbot that cannot compute the fact the somebody died.

Arranging the funeral was easy as we got help from a funeral director. The church has played a big part in my son life as he played the church organ. Whatever your faith they are very supportive and helpful. My son’s own music was played in the speakers and ended with a recording of the Star Wars theme that he played on that organ at age 15. It was even easy to choose the headstone as my father-in-law found a stone shaped as a heart.

The Headstone

I hope you did not find this post too depressing, if so check out my other post for something more uplifting. We tend to be uncomfortable around death and grief but there is only one thing in life that is certain. We die. Fortunately we do not know when or how.

2020-09-17 0 10

Blues Brothers

Blues Brothers

Yesterday I sat down with my oldest son to watch a movie. He wanted to see the old classic, no cult movie, the Blues Brothers! This has always been one of my absolute favorites. It was released in 1980 so it is quite an old roll of film. I have seen it well over twenty times so I know it by heart, even if it has been some years since last time. I am really pleased that I have managed to transfer culture to my children!

So if you have yet to see it, available on Netflix, it is the story of Jake and Elwood Blues. The story is quite thin but it is really a song and dance film giving tribute to the Blues of the 60- and 70-ties. The legends parades through the film, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, John Lee Hooker to mention a few. The two losers are on a mission from God to save the Catholic orphanage where they grew up. To do this they need to raise $5000 to pay the property tax to Cook County. Scene is set to Chicago as a tribute to the city.

The story is quite thin but it is really about the music and the comedy. So if you like old soul, R&B and blues this film is a must. The car chases and the number of wrecked police cars are just incredible. One of the car chases takes place in a shopping mall! Being a comedy they stretch out the stereo types to the max. It is a big smile and a lot of laughs. Some of the song and dance numbers makes me think about Bollywood movies. What do you think?

Blues Mobile 2020

I wonder if would be possible with a remake? John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd plays the brothers but who would it be now? Then most of the blues legends are gone so would it be modern R&B and Hip Hop artists? Instead of Blues, Heavy Metal with Marvel characters? No best leave it alone. A Blues Brothers 2000 came in 1998 and was a big flop.

This movie is best to just enjoy and not to overthink or analyse. Even if Aretha Franklin sings “You better think! Think about what you do to me!” Well, makes me happy! Let me know your thoughts, comment, like, share and subscribe! Until next time I will take a tour in the Blues mobile!

2020-08-11 0 9

Cows

Cows

A cow died today. It was laying there in the field. In a unnatural pose. On its side. Did not move when approached. Alone. She was dead.

Was she missed this cow. She had a calf. He missed her until another cow gave him milk. Alone in the field. Lying there in her unnatural pose.

The pack left her to drink water. Lowed to let the farmer know. Something was wrong. She was missed, it was not normal. Lying there in her unnatural pose.

In some religions a holy creature. I understand why. Majestic and calm. Feeding on the grass. Reuse four times. Milk and poo a natural pose.

Walk but seldom run. The majestic cows. In tune with nature. Considered to be slow on the uptake. But take it easy her natural pose.

A cow died today. The farmer picked her up with the tractor. Why did she die? A plastic bag in her throat or a bite from a snake? Ended in her unnatural pose.

Did the farmer care? She was insured, was she not? But a tear in the farmers eye. All creatures in his care are precious to him. Lifting her up from her unnatural pose.

Cows has been part of my life since I was a boy growing up on a farm. They are gentle creatures and brings calm to the surroundings. Was this cow I found dead in the field just a production unit in the farmers books. Or was she more than that. I think all living creatures are worth our respect and that is why I think she was worth this poem.

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2020-07-31 1 15

Pontoon

Pontoon

This past winter was one of the mildest ever. There was very little snow and the bay where we have the boat only froze once in early December. It was like a prolonged autumn. Not uncommon in the west coast of Sweden. This is due to the Gulf Stream that brings warm water from the Gulf of Mexico to Scandinavia. This stream also brings mild and rainy weather over the British isles and then continues to Scandinavia. The winter comes from the north east. Normally we have a few weeks in January and February with temperatures below Zero degrees Celsius. Then the bays in the fjord freezes and with the wind and stream ice will press on any pontoons or bridges until they break.

So to save our bridge pontoon we towed it across the bay and pulled it up on shore where the ice will not reach. Normally but not this year. Some heavy storms and low pressure weather systems made the water raise far over the normal level. At some point, even if we attached the pontoon well it came loose and floated away. So in the spring when we put the boat in the water we went to get the pontoon just to find it GONE! The first trip with the boat was to slowly seek out the shores in the fjord to find the pontoon. Hoping that it did no damage to something or floated out to the sea.

Far up on the rocky beach.

Far up on the rocky beach.

Salvaging

After about one hour we found it far up on a rocky beach. It was intact and not far from the anchoring point but on an island. It was too far up on the beach to be pulled into the water by boat. Me and my son started to try jerk and snitch with ropes and planks to move it into the water. We tried using planks and stones to create a lever to move the almost 200 kilo pontoon. We got it to move but some large stones stopped us and finally my back said. “Stop, you foolish old man” with a snap. We had to surrender for now. And it took more than a week for my back to heal.

After the second storm.

Before we could try again a new storm hit, moving the pontoon back up on the shore. So now we had lost all meters we managed last attempt. Fortunately it moved sideways away from the large stones. This time we came more prepared with more planks to use as lever and with more manpower. In the future I might write a blog on all Swedish swearwords because I think we used them all before we got the pontoon into the water. But we did it, YEAH!

Success

Strong men on a pontoon.

Now the wind had picked up and we got a strong head wind as we towed the pontoon to its anchoring point at the bridge. It is quite hard to steer a small boat alone in strong winds. So you can imagine the challenge towing a rectangular pontoon bridge. Now the challenge is to get the pontoon to the anchoring point without running into the rock or run the propeller into the seabed as the water is quite shallow. But with skill and MUCH luck we managed to steer clear and maneuver the pontoon to its anchoring point at the first attempt. Next year we will secure the pontoon better.

Do you like more stories from me Ulle Haddock? Like, subscribe and please comment!

2020-07-30 0 10

Mother

Mother

I became an orphan when I was ten years old but I was fortunate to come to a loving foster mother. This is a homage to her. Her name was Anna and she took me in as her own child and gave me that unconditional love only a mother can give. To the point where I lost my birth mother my childhood was messy to say the least. I lost my birth father to the alcohol even before my mother died. I was a broken child when I came to her but she mended me and healed the scars. Even if there are still some I struggle with.

They lived on a medium size family farm outside a small town in Halland, Sweden. Anna and her husband. They got married when they were quite old, around 45 years, so they did not have any children of their own. This fact I think was a great void in my foster mothers heart. I came to them to just stay a few weeks over the summer. As a part of a program the major cities have in Sweden for children from low income families to be able to go to the countryside. I felt so welcome I wanted to stay with them forever and so it was decided by the social welfare authorities.

Anna had two sisters and came from a house on a cape in Laholmsbukten. She grew up in the 1930:ties and 1940:ties under simple conditions as the oldest sister. Her mother Hulda was the only remaining sibling of five. All they other four older siblings emigrated to USA. She started to work as a maid in her early teens and after a few years in Malmö she attended household school. She did not meet Mr Right so she started to work as a health visitor. Helping out in homes where the mother was sick or when giving birth. She did this until she met her husband on a dance many years later.

Missing out on having her own children she gave her love to her sisters children as they were growing up. She took them with her on her holiday trips by buss all over Europe. She really loved to show those pictures. Anna took lots of pictures and she had a very special style to do it. You know this was long before the cell phones or even digital cameras. There was actually a film that needed to be winded forward before you could take the picture. Another history lesson. She asked everybody to parade and then she carefully aimed. The aiming part could take up to a minute and then she clicked while taking a step forward. Even so all pictures were sharp.

She was a really good cook and made everything taste amazing with just peppers and salt. Her brown sauce was always very tasty. She made traditional Swedish dishes, pancakes, meatballs and brown beans. She could also bake cakes. On every birthday party or Christmas there was at least seven varieties of small cookies, two soft cakes and cinnamon buns. Then came the cake. Strawberry and whipped cream with a marzipan rose on top. Getting hungry?

She took really good care of me and made sure I was safe. Standing in the kitchen window watching as I cycled to the school buss one kilometre away. Calling in the morning when I slept over with a friend to make sure I was okay. If I felt sick I could stay in bed and she bring me breakfast and comics to read. I must admit I held that thermometer under the lamp a few times just to be taken care of like that.

She also made sure her family took me in and they really did. I never got to meet her mother but it feels like she accepted me as Anna’s son also. At the age of 16 the authorities asked if they should help me move to my own flat but I felt so at home so I stayed on until I was 25 and moved away to another town for work.

When I got children of my own they never called her anything else but Grandmother and I think this was my way of giving back to her. Having her own grandchildren. She is forever in our hearts and will not be forgotten as long as my sons are alive. They loved her the same way I did, unconditionally, like family. I owe her so much and when she passed away some years ago in cancer I cried my eyes out. If you lost your mother you know the pain. I lost two!

In loving memory Anna Johansson, born Elofsson.

2020-07-29 2 12

Speed

Speed

Why does everything need to go so fast today?

We drive too fast on the roads causing accidents. Accidents puts everything to a full stop. Waiting for the emergency service. Lives lost, long recovery for the survivors. For what! To save a few seconds by overtaking old aunt McDonald.

Speedy car

Banging that keyboard in frustration waiting for that site to load. Now we talk about seconds! Chasing deadlines. It must be ready by yesterday otherwise we loose business. We must produce faster with less people. Why? To accumulate more money, to buy that second luxurious car or boat. Most money when you die win!?

Circle of life

Circle of life

Does this need for speed makes us happy? Or do we try to outrun the darkness? There are only two things that are absolute in our life. We are born and we will die. The amount of time between those certainties we do not know, fortunately.

Why do we like go fast? Is it only the need to get from point A to B as fast as possible? Do we seek the thrill in speed? So many sports has speed as the indicator for success. Not only motor sport but also sports like downhill skiing. The risk of getting seriously injured or even to die seems to attract many.

Even a slow game like chess sometimes uses time as an indicator. Do we always need to appoint a winner? Do we bring this into our daily life where we compete to have a nicer car than our neighbor? If someone wins must there not be one or more looser?

For sure there are things that need speed. Saving that harvest before the rain, catching that train running on a timetable or emergency services responding to a call. But take some time to relax have a coffee or tea and just feel the world spinning, read a blog or a book. If your team does not meet that deadline the result might be even better!

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2020-07-29 0 9