Tag Archive for ‘autism’

Thank You

Thank You

2020. I think many of us can agree that this was a shitty year. For me Corona was “only” a good beer from Mexico before. Covid-19 is accurate name of this little bastard turning our lifes upside down. This has not been the biggest thing impacting my life.

My youngest son died in August only twenty years old. His death was not entirely unexpected suffering for many years with mental ilness. At the age of eighteen he was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. A type of autism. He was also on the wait list to see if he also suffered a Bipolar disorder. I will not go in to deep here as I don’t have the strenght yet.

My son fishing.

I have always taken lots of pictures, mainly with my mobilephone. I also like to tell stories. I used to read to my two sons in the evenings. When we didn’t have anything to read I just made up the stories with their input. A book is lingering in my messy brain waiting to be written so to practise my writing my son suggested me to start a blog. Here I could also share some of my pictures.

This has been a lifeline after my sons passing. With this post I’d like to thank everybody that follows my blog, clicks the like button, signing up to subscribe and comments. You have really helped me stay sane during this fall. THANK YOU!

I know greif will never pass and the pain will always be there but you learn to live with it. I hope 2021 will be a great year for all of us and that Corona will just be a beer again. So cheers and Gott Nytt År!

This is one of my favourite pictures 2020. The colors and the mysterious light. Taken with my mobile phone.

Friendship

Friendship

Everyday with good weather he passed by the house. Walking or cyckling. With his black packpack. When she sat in the garden she saw him coming. Most of the times it was the dogs barking that alerted her. She waited for this moments. A small chat with the nice young man. There was something special about him, of that she was sure. At first he hurried pass with just a quick hello. But she wanted to know more so she tried to start a conversation with him.

Advertisements

She was long retired and lived on a peninsula and the house was at the end of the road. Passed her house was only a tractor path to the fields. Surrounded with water and cliffs this was the only way to the fields. On the fields there was sheeps grasing all summer. The dog was her only companion since her husband passed away several years ago. The house was a bit big but she enjoyed living there in the tranquility. Even so it soimetimes became a bit loonely so when somebody went pass her house she wanted to know who it was. Some of the summer houses in the area also had some break-ins. After that she took upon herself to check for outsiders.

So she was not letting this young man pass her house many times without knowing who he was. On the seccond or third time she stopped him and bluntly asked who he was and what he was doing there. He was very polite in his answers. The grandson of the local farmer at the beginning of the road. He came to sit among the sheep to practice drawing and painting. He could do that now due to the Covid-19 pandemic. The university was closed and all lectures was online. He even attended some out there in the green pasture.

Advertisements

As time passed that spring and summer it became a ritual and the days he did not come or she missed him she wondered what he was doing. She knew he would not come on rainy days as it was not possible to draw or sit with a computor in the rain. She really enjoyed those short conversations and he seemed to do the same. At one point he told her passingly that he was autistic and struggled with social interaction. She did not reall know what that was but she noticed that gradually answered with longer sentences. In mid August he stopped coming and she knew in her heart that something bad happened to her friend. Yes, she really considered him a friend.

By Ulle Haddock 2020. Please like, subscribe comment and share. Find more from me here.

Sheep

Sheep

So today the story of why sheep has a very special place in my heart and this is not a cheap story.

I have always told stories from early childhood. In the school yard, already from first grade, I told stories for my friends mostly because I was not very good at football, what the Americans call soccer, in fact quite lousy. I would make up stories about places we talked about during class even if I never sat my foot there or the strange man living alone in that old farm outside the city. This went on even as I was growing older and even as I did military service I sat there making up stories around the tent stove. I met my wife and we got two kids, two lovely boys with less than two years apart. Even before they were born I started to sing, rhyme and tell stories for them and when they were born and a bit older I use to involve them in the creation of the stories. Many of those stories were rhyme and we also love to read books with rhyme.

Advertisements

When my sons were ten and twelve we went on holiday to the lovely island Gotland. It is a rock in the Baltic Sea made of lime stone and there is an amazing cave Lummelunda we went to. My wife always finds the souvenir shop as the highlight of everything we visits and could spend all her time there. She was pushing the guys to buy a small bowl, probably made in China, with the text Lummelunda Grottan to remember the visit but the youngest refused and pointed on soft toy at the back shelf. It was a twenty centimetres long, ten centimetres wide and ten centimetres high cuddle sheep! He immediately named it Ulle and hugged him intensively for the rest of that trip (in Swedish Ull means Wool). In Visby Ulle got a friend half the size but looking exactly the same after some protesting from my wallet. It was decided to be a she so she got the name Ulla. On the ferry to the mainland another cuddly soft toys even smaller was added to the collection with the name Junior.

Francis, Junior, Ulla and Ulle

Ulle and his little “family” fast became the center of the story telling. With a deep voice, same depth as Chef in South Park, he began to tell about his adventures around the world. For all the adventures he has experienced he must be at least 250 years old. Ulle likes to eat socks and has built in socks sorting machine that sounds chew, chew, chew. He farts a lot specially when eating socks or lying. He always tries to find excuses to go to the sock drawer. He is also the only sheep in the world that can fly! He does that by farting and since flying is dangerous should he run out of air in column he has mastered the ability to fart inwards. Ulla his wife often wonders why more comes out than goes in. Ulles predilection to rod or fart often puts him in difficult situations where he looses a prestigious job. Like the time he was a mascot for a football team and eat the visiting teams socks. Something happens in Ulles inside when he eats socks so ha began to fart so much that the players on both teams start to pass out. The referee gave him a red card, big mistake! Ulle rod him in the rear together with the side referee so they flew up in the audience that now also started to pass out. So he was fired! He also held a job with a well known president but that is another story and since I am on Twitter I dare not write it down.

Advertisements

Soon all soft toys sheep started to develop a personality along with the stories and the number of sheep increased as a sheep was bought on every travel we made. The rule was if you held it you must buy it. My son named them all. Ulla soon developed a personality to match Ulle but with a very high pitch voice. Her self esteem is very, very solid in fact she is the best of the best! Every day she explains the scientific proof of the fact that she is the best. She asks if she is cuddly and yes this is true and then she asks if she is the cuddliest and you cannot deny this. That means that she is the best of being cuddly, right. Cannot deny this so that must mean that she is the best! Logical proof! Baa! Ulla is the leader of the quite large pack keeping the rest in order with her high pitched voice. There are many common features between Ulla and my wife but that must be a coincidence! Ulla has a soft spot for long underwear and has a factory at Svalbard where she is convinced there are polar sheep. She is a hard business woman, Ewe, driving the factory with student lamb coming to see the production.

Ulla leading the choir with strong discipline.

Even today as my son is twenty years old the sheep play an important part of our daily life. All parents I think feel that their children are special and so did we even if the youngest was very special the entire childhood. It was when he was in high school we realized that he was really special, he was diagnosed with Autism spectrum or Asperger’s syndrome. This means he is extremely intelligent and high functioning in some areas while he struggles in other more basic areas and especially with social interactions. I realized that the stories and personalities the sheep develop was a way for us to communicate and for him to handle his emotions. We very rarely hug without the sheep between us. He is easily stressed and then he can say Ulle does not feel very well. As a high functioning autistic he struggled in high school where the teachers often choose to disregard his special needs especially in language classes where you need to express feelings and thoughts, in Sweden we learn also English and a third language, German, Spanish or French. Straight A:s in all logical subjects but often failing in the humanistic subjects drove him into a deep depression. We still struggle with this but the sheep is there to support.

On a small island in the fjord there are some sheep that likes to run away and is therefore put on this island. We call it the sheep Alcatraz. This island is our special place and when the sheep hear the sound of our boat approaching they come running to see if we have any candy for them. I will share some pictures of them with you and if you think someone could enjoy or benefit from this text please share. Like, subscribe and comment!